CONTENT WARNING: Eating Disorders
Our battle had begun.
You were always an unwanted friend who lingered around and around.
The one who knew how to get under my skin.
But you never left.
And I loved it – I loved you, I said. I honestly did.
But what exactly was of me to love?
Our quarrels started when I was in a very dark point in my life and it was never intentional for us to meet.
But the amount of times I thought you loved me – those were all fabricated lies so you could get what you wanted.
And what exactly were you looking for? What were you thriving for?
My spirit? My light? My strength? My happiness?
Bravo – you had won.
You’ve captured every part of my being.
How do I tell you that I love what you have done – but hate what I have become?
Perfection is what I sought after, day in and day out.
Deception and disappointment is what I ended up with.
Countless scrapes, bruises, and wounds.
Those were ripped open every time you flooded my head.
The rush. The pain. The desire. The need.
I did not want you – but you needed me.
Our codependency was all that I knew, all that I needed, all that was there.
You are still here and you always will be.
Our battle does not end just because you no longer have control over me.
This is when the skeleton finds his strength.
By Gage Gillard